


There's a Ghost in my Lungs

by buckyno



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Pining, Supernatural Elements, ghost!harry, wibbly wobbly timey-wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 07:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4470749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyno/pseuds/buckyno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, it’s not that kind of movie.”<br/>As last words Harry was ever to hear, he was left wanting.  The next thing he heard was the thunder clap of gun fire and then, horrors of all horrors the sound of Eggsy screaming.  Funny how that sound tearing out of his boy’s mouth sent reverberations of pain throughout his body but the bullet in the head hadn’t felt like anything at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a Ghost in my Lungs

 

 

“Well, it’s not that kind of movie.”

 As last words Harry was ever to hear, he was left wanting.  The next thing he heard was the thunder clap of gun fire and then, horrors of all horrors the sound of Eggsy screaming.  Funny how that sound tearing out of his boy’s mouth sent reverberations of pain throughout his body but the bullet in the head hadn’t felt like anything at all.

Harry blinked his eyes open and feels the flip-flop sensation of a sudden change of altitude.  He’s not in Kentucky anymore, Valentine and his entourage are gone.  He’s in his own house looking at Eggsy, his Eggsy.  The boy has tears streaming down his face and his chest is heaving.  He snaps the laptop shut and for a long awful moment Harry doesn’t understand why Eggsy is so upset.  He wants to stop it, wants to find the person responsible and burn them to the ground, Harry draws closer and starts,

“Eggsy, it’s all right, I—” Harry takes long steps to Eggsy ready to take him into his arms, something he should have done before he left but for all his pride didn’t.

He was such a fool, losing his temper like that.  Harry hadn’t even really been angry at Eggsy he was angry at himself.  Of course Eggsy would have never shot the dog, Eggsy who left the Marines because his Mother begged him to, Eggsy who spent his whole life sacrificing what he wanted for the well-being of those he loved.  His boy would die if they asked him to but he wouldn’t shoot his damned dog because Eggsy would never hurt something he loved.  Harry should have warned him, no, he should have never put him in the position to do something so abhorrently against his nature to begin with. Eggsy abruptly bursts out his chair, oblivious to Harry, and instead of walking into an embrace he walks right through Harry like he was…like he was…Harry’s thoughts stutter to a stop and the feeling of every molecule in his being getting tased keeps him from following Eggsy as the boy storms away.  Harry tries to yell for him but finds he can’t use his voice, realizes Eggsy wouldn’t have heard him anyway.  Because Harry fucking Hart was dead.

Realistically, Harry knew getting shot point blank in the head then magically being transported back home meant he was no longer among the living.  But it had been easy to forget when faced with Eggsy in the comfort of his own home when he himself felt nearly the same.  He could feel the comfortable fit of his bespoke suite and smell the wood polish and rich leather lightly scenting the air of his house.  The floor beneath his feet felt solid.  Now that Eggsy was gone he could sense the wrongness with the world around him, there was an odd faint noise in the air like the sound of a record player needle scratching the end of the record waiting to be reset.  Only no one will touch the needle and now that Harry can hear it he knows his sanity won’t last long with that blasted sound seemingly behind his eyes.

All he wants is to be with Eggsy again and then with no warning he _is_.  Flip-flop goes reality and there he is at Kingsman seeing Arthur hand Eggsy a crystal glass at the “round table”.  For a moment sound is in a vacuum but Harry can read Eggsy’s face which goes from anguished to terrifyingly cold in a matter of seconds.  He had never seen that look before not even when he Eggsy first met him with all his wary suspicion or when the boy yelled back at him in his house full of fire and hurt.  Eggsy leans in indicating the portraits Arthur hung proudly in the room and when Arthur turns to seemingly explain them the boy switches their drinks, his fingers skilled and quick, his face still so icily calm.  The two toast, Eggsy takes  his drink all in one go and Harry couldn’t suppress a smile—Eggsy had done the same thing with the martinis they made even though he had no idea what they would taste like.

Harry moved closer, as he did his hearing returned to him in time to watch Arthur reach into his jacket and pull out a very particular pen.  Harry froze.  Arthur articulated that he was working with Valentine and Eggsy didn’t look at all surprised.  Arthur offered him a simple deal, come with him in honor of Harry’s memory or die from the drink they’d just shared which had also been in Harry’s honor.  Harry tried to drag Arthur out of his damned chair only to have his hands go right through the man and causing shockwaves to radiate up arms, he tried to take the pen away, he tried and tried his panic rising in his chest and to his dismay could do nothing.

 Arthur gave Eggsy a final choice to which Eggsy smiled, beautiful and oh so certain of his words, “I’d rather be with Harry.  _Thanks_.”

A rush of fierce pride swirled with fear inside Harry.  So loyal, his boy, the willingness Eggsy seemed to have to throw his life away terrified the fuck out of Harry.  Of course it was expected in a Kingsman but Harry knew there was a darker drive behind it that someday he had hoped to sooth.  He would never get that chance now would he?

Arthur activates the pen and again Eggsy surprised Harry by how clever he was, Harry had forgotten for a second about the switched glasses.  Eggsy thought moves ahead of everyone else.  Perhaps it was the free-running, having to plot his path in seconds before he practically flew across all obstacles as if he’d taken the steps a thousand times before.  More than likely Eggsy was just that bloody brilliant. Arthur dies indignantly while Eggsy reminds him with a look that sent chills over Harry that the great Arthur was ended by a light-fingered “common type”.  Eggsy stays until he’s sure Arthur is dead and not a second longer.  Harry again wants to follow him out, take him in his arms, kiss him if the boy allowed it, but a strange sense of anxiousness has his shoes rooted to the floor.  A hateful glance toward Arthur’s limp body explained why.

It was hard to describe what Harry saw tearing itself away from Arthur’s dead body, he knew without a doubt it was the man’s spirit just as Harry was but Arthur’s was all wrong.  Long black legs stretched out a like a spider from Arthurs back ,the only resemblance on the thing to the original man was the face stuck to the writhing mass’s center.  Its eyes rolled and landed on Harry.

“H-Harry?  No, no, no, you’re dead.  I saw it you’re dead.”  Arthur’s voice sounded choked as if there was some liquid gargling in his throat.

Despite Harry’s initial shock at what he’s just seen the grin he gives Arthur is absolutely feral, “So are you, you _fucking cock_.”

“Lies.” Arthur hisses with a mouth that now appears to have too many teeth.

Harry doesn’t answer him, he doesn’t have to.  A creeping darkness that soon covers the wall behind Arthur’s spirit does the convincing for him.  Arthur is being pulled back into the inky abyss, spidery legs scraping against the perfectly waxed wooden floor.  Arthur tries to grab at the chair, the table, anything but his inhuman limbs pass through everything.  Lastly he reaches out to Harry.

“Please!  Help me, Harry!  I didn’t know what was going to happen to you!  I didn’t know!  Help me!”  Arthur’s “feet” are sucked into the inky blackness first almost if the darkness were made of liquid, he thrashed and thrashed but he just kept getting pulled further in inch by miserable inch. 

Harry said nothing, couldn’t really because he was having a bit of a spiritual crisis, if his silence looked like hateful vindictiveness then all the better but that wasn’t quite it.  He’d never been much of a religious man, the only faith he ever had was in the Kingsman and then more recently in a young man named Eggsy Unwin, he still wasn’t despite everything he’d experienced and was seeing.  Arthur getting dragged off into a pit after death didn’t feel religious it was more like…cosmic justice.  His only fear was that his fate could be the same, he did not think he was a very good man.  He did not believe he always made the right choices, especially not now when Arthur’s betrayal roiled inside Harry.  The only thing he was certain of was he did not want to leave, dead or not because…he’d rather be with Eggsy.  He prayed, to whatever powers there may be, that he get to stay.

Arthur was completely merged into the wall except for his face which was no longer screaming for help, he stared at Harry, eyes glinting with hate and disgust he sneers at Harry, “Your street trash is going to die, you know.  You should have left the little slut in the gutter where you found him, it would have been kinder…but you’ve never been kind, have you Galahad?”  Inky black bleeds over Arthur’s cruel smile, his teeth, and then he’s gone forever.  That’s more of hopeful thinking on Harry’s part than knowing for sure.

The blackness dissolves taking any trace of the horror that transpired with it and the wall is just a wall once more.  Harry is left alone, uncertain and angry.  He wanted Arthur to suffer more for what he’d done, maybe he was.  He tries to think of Eggsy like before but this time it fails.  A faint ringing has joined the scratching vinyl in the sounds around him, growing louder and louder.  He can taste blood in his mouth and then the world goes white and loud and full of pain.  To Harry the sensation felt like it had lasted centuries, he knew that wasn’t true when he finally comes back to himself and he was standing beside Merlin staring down at the proof of Arthur’s betrayal in his large hands.

 Merlin’s face is drawn into harsh, grim lines.  Far from defeated which is echoed in the faces of both Eggsy and Roxy who are standing with him.  The three look like an imperial triumvirate ready to face the enemy at the gates, there was hope for the world, for Kingsman, Harry knew without a doubt that these three would see it through. 

Harry turns to his friend, he wishes he could thank him for all the years Merlin put up with Harry’s shit—had his back and generally kept him alive.  If it hadn’t been for Merlin Harry Hart would have been where is now long ago.  Harry’s life was the Kingsman yet he had very few friends within the organization.  If he had to put it colloquially, Merlin was his best friend.  He’d never told Merlin that out loud, one more regret on the list, and he still doesn’t say it in death when no one can hear him.

What comes out of Harry’s mouth instead is, “Give ‘em _Hell_ , old boy.”  Maybe it’s not what he wants to say but he means it none the less.

Hell is exactly what Eggsy, Merlin, and Roxy bring to Valentine’s doorstep.  Eggsy was at the front of the mayhem cutting bloody paths across Valentine’s base.  The grace Eggsy tried to hide when he moved in his regular day-to-day was embraced--turned lethal as he massacred Valentine’s security, why he had tried to hide it at all Harry couldn’t fathom, or maybe he could and all the reasons he came up with filled him with fury.  Eggsy wasn’t all deadly graceful instinct; he used every ounce of his training.  The boy was a Kingsman through and through even when he was cornered and thought it was the end before Merlin triggered the most spectacular fireworks show Harry had ever seen, Eggsy was _brave_.

Harry didn’t feel any real fear until Eggsy faced-off against Gazelle.  He felt so useless, helpless.  Watching his boy fight for his life was torture, shuttering back and forth between Eggsy’s progress and Merlin also left him feeling oddly like was floating.  He was having trouble focusing on the fight, the fight he could do nothing about no matter how hard he tried, and cursed everything.  Time passed far too quickly between the blinks of Harry’s eyelids.  Nausea hit him, death so far was full of everything awful, he wanted to vomit but couldn’t.  Eggsy’s battle unfolded before him like a slide show, the slides going faster and faster until finally they stopped and Harry gasped for air that failed to fill his lungs.  Harry watched poison stricken Gazelle and then Eggsy use the girl’s prosthetic to bloody harpoon Valentine.

Harry gets the weak satisfaction over the irony of Eggsy’s “Well, like you said, it ain’t that kind of movie.” being the last words Valentine would ever hear.

Eggsy is riding high off the adrenaline, he’s flushed and beautiful in his victory.  Harry can hear Merlin’s words like they were in his own ears, “Harry would be proud.”  The half-smile on Eggsy’s face drops but not entirely.

“I am.”  Harry says as Eggsy steps over bodies to retrieve a bottle of top-shelf champagne, “I’ve never been more proud in my entire life…and I love you, Eggsy.  I love you, so, so much.  I wish you could hear me, I wish I could tell you a thousand times over.  I am so sorry.  You deserved more.  Better.”  He feels like he’s on fire, and yes, death is awful, it was almost like he couldn’t go five minutes without being reminded of it.  Perhaps that was his punishment, if it was he would gladly endure if that meant he could stay with Eggsy and watch over him.  He didn’t particularly want to stay there in the room to see whatever was going to come for Valentine and his rich drones though.

“No time for what you’re thinking, lad.” Merlin says unknowingly answering Harry’s prayers, “You need to get back here ASAP.”

“Somethin’ wrong, Merlin?”  Eggsy asks clearly worried.

“I…Percival got a message through to me.  I think we can trust him.  Eggsy, he says Harry’s _alive_.”

Simultaneously Eggsy and Harry exclaim, “ _What!?_ ”

Sound roars in Harry’s ears, Eggsy dashes away from him and Harry can’t move at all.  The bright white floods his vision and then…then, there’s nothing at all.

 

Harry Hart wakes up feeling like shit.  Considering the looks Merlin and Eggsy were giving him from either side of his bed he looked even worse.  They were no gleaming pearls themselves, they looked tired.  The “we haven’t slept in days” tired Harry himself was intimately familiar with.  He tries to open his mouth and find while he was reasonably sure he hadn’t gargled broken glass recently it sure as hell felt like it.  Eggsy sees his distress immediately and fetches him some ready water on a nearby hospital table.  Now that he can take stock Harry now does see he’s in the Kingsman medical facility. 

Eggsy helps him take a few sips of cool water, when his throat adjusts he rasps, “What happened?”

“You died, bruv.”  Eggsy blurts then pales.  Harry wants to take his hands and reassure him that was obviously not the case.

“Come again?”

“Fuckin’ Valentine shot you in the fucking head.”  His voice cracks.

Merlin leans in closer inspecting his pupils, “How much do you remember, Harry?”

“I…”, Harry tries to think.  Bits and pieces of what happened in the church come back to him in gory detail.  He recalls Valentine aiming a gun to his head and then…someone screaming?  Other than that it was a whole lot of nothing until he woke up a few minutes ago.  Harry settles on saying, “Not much.”

Merlin rumbles a hum, “The paramedics in Kentucky found your body, practically bled-out from the head wound.  The bullet grazed your skull and they tell me they lost a pulse on you for a good twenty seconds before the medical team could revive you.  Kingsman brought you home weeks ago, you’ve been in a coma since then, waking up for a few seconds every now and then for the past three days.  Other than all that you are one lucky bastard, Harry.”

Harry clenches his fist, he feels weak, and hurts all over but looking at Eggsy and Merlin, yes, he feels lucky too.  They tell him what happened on V-day, recount full of Eggsy’s colourful expletives and Merlin’s video feeds, even Roxy pops in to tell him herself how she was floating around “in fuckin’ _space_ ” (its right then Harry realizes what a terror Roxy and Eggsy are going to be together).  Their story sounds all strangely familiar and he had no idea why. Merlin worries they’re over-taxing Harry who was still very much fresh out of a coma.  He attempts to herd everyone out so Harry can rest, Harry bites down on the urge to tell him to fuck off he’s been sleeping for _weeks_ and would if it weren’t for Merlin knowing what’s best for him.  Harry manages to catch Eggsy’s wrist before he can turn away, Eggsy freezes.

Harry asks, “Would you stay a bit longer?”  He has no idea when he got so bold.

Eggsy smiles brightly and shoots Merlin a questioning look, Merlin huffs and nods, he leaves the room with Roxy and shuts the door politely behind him.

Eggsy flops down in a chair next to Harry’s bed, Harry had the impression the boy had been there often.  He smiles at him, already feeling exhaustion creep up on him, “Know any good stories?”

Eggsy blushes and scrunches up his face in a way a weaker man would call cute, “You want me to tell you a bed-time story, Harry?”

“Why not?”  He wanted to drift off to the sound of Eggsy’s voice.

“I, uh, don’t really know many.  All I know is ghost stories.”  Harry could understand why.  Eggsy’s childhood must have been full of “ghost stories” from Michelle.

“You believe in ghosts, Eggsy?”  Harry’s eyes had drifted closed of their own accord.

Vaguely Eggsy replies, “You’d be surprised.”

“Actually,” Harry says thickly, barely hanging to wakefulness before he goes back to sleep, “I don’t think I would.”

 

 

 

end

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a straight-up death fic and Harry was going to go into the light or something but I got to that point and I... just couldn't do it. I will never leave these banks on the river of denial, I'm in too deep guys. Anyway thanks for reading!


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